"Main Character"

 Hello again and THANK YOU so much for coming back to read what I have to say. Today I wanted to talk about something that took me WAY too many years to learn. 

Let me lead with I have spent the majority of my life struggling with my mental health. I have struggled with what other people thought of me and let other people's thoughts and actions dictate how I lived my life. As I went through multiple rounds of therapy and even a couple months of outpatient rehab, I learned many different coping skills for stress as it comes up. There is no one right answer for living with mental health issues. Everyone is different and everyone needs different forms of coping skills. For some, meditating works wonders. For me, I just fall asleep when I try to meditate. For others it can be alleviated by sensory items such as touching, smelling, hearing, tasting or seeing certain things, that can reset the direction of their mind. The biggest thing that helped for me was owning my feelings. I learned (and I am still learning) how to communicate better. That even if someone else doesn't understand, what I am feeling is true to me. Once I own my feelings (no matter how irrational) then I can start to adjust to positivity. 

Ex. "I feel like when someone doesn't say hi to me, that means they are mad at me or have an issue with me." Those are my FEELINGS, even though the other person is not saying that or meaning that, it does not make what I am feeling any less real. Once I have owned that is how I feel, I can then adjust and realize that it is not always a fact. I can work through the rational thought process of knowing that sometimes someone is busy, or their mind may be occupied and they do not intentionally ignore me or avoid me. I can process out and see the big picture. "That person usually speaks to me and they have given me no reason to think they don't like me." I can then address and know that my feelings were irrational, no matter how real they felt.

As I continue daily on my growth, learning as much as I can about having a more stable mind set, I find my next point to be so amazingly true. When I spend my time and energy squeezing into the box of what others have to say about me or how others act towards me, I limit my personal growth and my mental health. I heard something recently that I wish I had realized sooner. "You are not the main character in anyone's story but your own. Stop dictating your actions and future based on what supporting characters have to say about you." 🤯 HOLY CRAP!!! This is not to be confused with being selfish! But think about it, how often do we try to adjust who we are and how we act to fit the people we are around?

Work daily to be YOUR best self! Stop comparing where you are in life to the people around you. (I want to get married to my best friend and be a mom. I find myself mentioning to him every time one of our friends get engaged or gets pregnant. I fail to stop and know that it will come when we are BOTH ready. That it is just he and I in our relationship and it does not matter what everyone else is doing.) 

You should define your growth in life in comparison to ONLY who you were yesterday, last week, last year, NOT on where someone else is. Everyone's story is different and that is a beautiful thing. God calls us to look vertical (to Him), not horizontal at the world around us. When we look at the world around us we lose sight of the bigger picture. We stop aiming to be better people and instead aim to be more "normal" or like others. 

The world around us will fail us every time. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

God does not want to see us fail. God wants to see us grow in love, peace, and joy. He does not say the path to Him will be easy, but He does say it is worth it. Romans 12:2 says: "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will." 

 I did not intend for this to be so long, so if you read all the way through, thank you! I would love to know what your take away from this was. Any words of wisdom or thoughts you would like to share. I want nothing more than to help someone who is struggling reach a peace that did not seem possible. My goal is to leave this world a better place than when I came into it! I urge you to join me in this mission!

I love and thank each and everyone of you who take the time to read my simple words!