"Do you love... you?"

 Hey everyone. I have a question... do you love... you?

Seems like a simple question with a simple answer, but for everyone out there living with depression, anxiety, ptsd, and other forms of trauma, that question is anything but simple.

Our answer will usually involve some form of yes and no at the same time: "I love my eyes, but not my smile." "I love my personality, but not my figure." "I mean yes, sometimes, maybe." 

Then other times we straight rip ourselves apart: "I know I should but I am not as pretty as I want to be, or I don't do the right things." "I will love myself when (insert any number of situations) happens or changes." "If 'so and so' loved me then I would."

There are so many parts of this I want to break down, but I'll just choose a few. 

1.) How we treat ourselves, teaches others how to treat us. Why should anyone else show us respect and see our true beauty if we don't see it? When we constantly talk negatively about ourselves and treat ourselves poorly, we are showing those around us what we consider our worth to be. By highlighting our negative traits and talking poorly about ourselves, we are showing the people around us that it is ok to do that as well. 

2.) We can't truly love others, if we don't first love ourselves. God calls us to "love our neighbors as we love ourselves." If we live this out accurately and we are mean to ourselves, then we are mean to others. If we see only our flaws, we are likely to only see others flaws. We may be able to be positive for awhile, but we eventually fall back into the negative mentality and take it out on those around us. 

3.) We don't believe we deserve the positive things that happen in life. When we get a promotion at work, we think we are undeserving and it causes more stress than happiness. When someone says something nice to us or compliments us, we find a way to highlight the negative in whatever they complimented. When someone shows us love, we often self-sabotage because we feel we don't deserve to be happy. 

There is so much more that could be highlighted, but I'm confident you have gotten the point. INSTEAD, let's talk about how we can LOVE ourselves. 

Start by knowing, It's ok to make mistakes. Let me say that again: IT'S OK TO MAKE MISTAKES!!! We don't grow by always succeeding, we grow in our failures. It is not about how we fall, but about how we get back up. 

Start everyday new. Evaluate how you "failed" yesterday, and strive to do better today. Don't sit around hung up on what you did wrong. Take the mistakes and see where you need to do better.

DO NOT FIND YOUR VALUE IN THE WORLD/PEOPLE AROUND YOU. It is easy to say that someone else has the car you want, the family you long for, the career they love, and you don't so there for you are failing. WRONG!!!!! You are just in a different phase of life than they are, but your life is still deserving of your love. 

Set yourself up for success. Don't decide you are going to change EVERYTHING in one day. It is unrealistic and often leads to failure. Start simple. An example would be by creating one positive habit. It can be anything that is realistic and once you have established that, you build onto it with another. 

Speak life over yourself. When your mind fills with all the negative things about yourself, speak positivity. Ex: If you don't like the way you look, thank your body for working still, for allowing you to wake up and go through your day. 

Remember as you grow in loving yourself, God calls us to love others. Mark 12:31: "‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than this.”

I could go on for ages about this but for now I will stop here. You are worth more than you know. You are loved beyond measure. When we overcome our struggles, we are able to use our knowledge and growth to help others who are still hurting.